You are NOT a DESI when..... You don't open a conversation (on telephone) with a 'hello' but with a 'hi The telephone is never 'engaged', it's always 'busy'. You don't 'disconnect' a phone, you simply 'hang-up'. You never 'mess-up' things, you only 'screw them up'. You never have a 'residence' telephone number, you have a 'home' number; you never have a 'office' telephone, you have a 'work' phone. You don't stop at the 'signals', but halt at the 'lights'. You don't 'accelerate', you 'step on the gas'. Your tire never 'punctures', you may have a 'flat'. There are no 'petrol pumps', but 'gas stations'. 'I don't know nothing'. Two negatives don't make a positive here. You no longer meet a 'wonderful' person, you meet a 'cool' guy No one stays 'a stone's throw away', rather 'a few blocks away'. There's no 'Town Side', it's 'Down Town'. Life's no longer 'miserable' it 'stinks'. You don't have a 'great' time, you have a 'ball'. You don't 'sweat it out', you 'work your butt off'. You no longer live in 'flats', you live in 'apartments'. You don't stand in a 'queue', you are in a 'line'. You are not 'disgusting', you are 'sick'. You can't get 'surprised', you get 'zapped'. You don't 'schedule' a meeting, you 'skejule' it. You never 'joke', U just 'kid'. For example, 'Are u kidding?' You don't ask somebody 'How r u?' You say 'What's up dude?' There's no 'zero' but 'O', no 'Z' but zee; There's no full stop after a statement, there's a period.