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Six Scientific Ways To Catch A Lion:


1. Newton's Method:
Let The Lion Catch You. For Every Action There Is Equal And Opposite Reaction. It Implies You Caught The Lion.

2. Einstein Method:
Run In The Direction Opposite To That Of The Lion. Due To Higher Relative Velocity, The Lion Will Also Run Faster And Will Get Tired Soon. Now You Can Trap It Easily.

3. Schrodinger Method:
At Any Given Moment, There Is A Positive Probability That Lion To Be In The Cage. So Set The Trap, Sit Down And Wait.

4. Inverse Transformation Method:
Place A Spherical Cage In The Forest And Enter It. Perform An Inverse Transformation With Respect To Lion. Lion Is In And We Are Out.

5. Thermodynamic Procedure:
Construct A Semi-Permeable Membrane Which Allows Everything To Pass It Except Lions. Then Sweep The Entire Forest With It.

6. Integration Differential Method:
Integrate The Forest Over The Entire Area. The Lion Is Some Where In The Result. So Differentiate The Result Partially W.R.T Lion To Trace Out The Lion.
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Got Frustrated ?
...
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Ok Now Lets Kill The Lion...
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Govinda Method:
Continuously Dance Before The Lion For 5 Or 6 Days.


Inzamam-ul-Haque Method:
Ask The Lion To Bowl At U. U Bat For 200 Balls And Score 1 Run. Lion Dies After A Spurt Of Continuous Madness. <O:P></O:P>

Pervaiz Mushrraf Method:
Save The Lion From Danger And Feed Him With Vegetables Continuously.


George Bush Method:
Link The Lion With Osama Bin Laden And Shoot Him.

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Answer the Questions

Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
Student: "Because George still had the axe in his hand."


Teacher: George, go to the map and find North America.
George: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
Class: George!


Teacher: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Willy: Me!


Teacher: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
Tommy: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.


Teacher: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
Ellen: I is...
Teacher:: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
Ellen: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."


Son: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father: No. Why do you ask that?
Son: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?


Teacher: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one
is blue with red spots!
Kirk: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.


Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
Pupil: Moon...
Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it.


At a church school gathering, one little old lady approached a cute 5-year-old girl and asked her where she got her good looks.
"I musta got 'em from my Daddy," said the little girl, "'cause Mommy's still got hers."

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A man is caught in traffic when suddenly someone taps on the window.
He lowers the window and asks what he wanted.
The man says, President Bush was kidnapped and the ransom is $5 Million
dollars, and that if the ransom is not paid, the kidnappers have
threatened to douse him with gasoline and set him on fire!
"We are doing a collection, do you wish to participate?"
The man asks "on the average what are people giving?"
The man says "5 to 10 liters!

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A Pathan goes into a store and sees a shining object. He asks the clerk,
"What is that shiny object?" The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask."
The Pathan then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold."
The Pathan says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos.
His Pathan boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a thermos flask."
The boss then says, "What does it do?"
He replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The Pathan replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

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Two friends billooo & Tillooo went to school for appearing in English exam ( 7th standard ) . They had crammed an essay of "MY BEST FRIEND". But unfortunately , in the question-paper it was written ...... write an essay on "MY FATHER" in just 30-45 words .So billooo was utterly confused & nervous ...what to do !!! Tillooo gave an idea . . . . just write the essay My best friend & just keep on replacing the word friend with the father..... So this was how billooo & Tillooo wrote the essay "MY FATHER"......Fathers & fathers are everywhere , but good fathers are very rare . I have so many fathers , but my best father is Pyarelal. He is my neighbor. He often comes to my home & my mother likes him very much.

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"FOR WE WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT" as sitting in a classroom. The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children. The teacher asked a little boy:

TEACHER: Tommy do you see the tree outside?

TOMMY: Yes.

TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?

TOMMY: Yes.

TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.

TOMMY: Okay. (He returned a few minutes later) Yes, I saw the sky.

TEACHER: Did you see God?

TOMMY: No.

TEACHER: That's my point. We can't see God because he isn't there. He doesn't exist.

A little girl spoke up and wanted to ask the boy some questions. The teacher agreed and the little girl asked the boy:

LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the tree outside?

TOMMY: Yes.

LITTLE GIRL: Tommy do you see the grass outside?

TOMMY: Yessssss (getting tired of the questions by this time).

LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?

TOMMY: Yessssss

LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the teacher?

TOMMY: Yes

LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?

TOMMY: No

LITTLE GIRL: Then according to what we were taught today in school, she must not have one!

"FOR WE WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT"

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Two hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were quite successful in their venture, and bagged six big bucks. The pilot came back as arranged to pick them up.
They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk. But the pilot objected. "The plane can takeout only four of your elk; you will have to leave two behind," he stated.
They argued with him; the year before they had shot six and the pilot had allowed them to put all aboard, and the plane was just the same model and capacity as this.
Reluctantly the pilot finally permitted them to put all six aboard.
But when they attempted to take off and leave the valley where they were, the little plane could not make it, and they crashed in the wilderness.
Climbing out of the wreckage, one hunter said to the other, "Do you know where we are?"
"I think so," replied the other hunter. "I think this is about the same place where the plane crashed last year."

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What is a similarity between Mobile & Marriage?

""Kash thode din ruk jaata to achha Model mil jaata...!!!""

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GF Vs Wife
GF IS BEAUTY & WIFE IS DUTY,
GF IS SPRING ROLL & WIFE IS DABBAGOL,
GF IS CHUSKI & WIFE IS RISKY,
GF IS TOOIFROOTY & WIFE IS KISMAT PHOOTTEY

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Q.what is difference between watch & wife: A:
Ek kharaab hoti hai to band ho jaati hai aur
doosri kharab hoti hai to chaloo ho jaati hai.

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Customer : Bhai kab se wait ker raha hoon khana abhi tak tayyar nahi howa?
Hotel Wala : Bhai sahab kahan tu 3 din pehlay se tayyar hai bas gharam ho raha hai.

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Pehla Pagal : Ager tum batao kay is Box mein kia hai tu ye anday tumhara aur ager tum ye bata du kay ye kitnay anday hain tu 5 kay 5 tumharay aur ager tum ye bata dogay ye kis kay anday hain tu wo morgi bhi tumhari.
Dosra Pagal : Yaar koi hint tu du.

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